Sorry!
torchwood, harkness, Ianto, gareth david lloyd
danaandersen

 I Know, i know! I said i would try and update everyday but ive been real bust moving house!! please forgive me!!

Christmas present list!
torchwood, harkness, Ianto, gareth david lloyd
danaandersen
For christmas this year People will get these items!

Buffy Summers-Forks, Washington map.
Justin Bieber- Suicide for Dummys!
Ianto Jones- Red UNIT beret
Jack Harkness-Super tight skinny jeans!
Russell T. Davies-How to stop murdering people for Dummys!
Sam Tyler- A decent shirt
Amelia Pond- Roman soldier female dress up outfit.
The Doctor-Ginger Hair Dye
Harry Potter-Bio Oil Scar Remover
Voldermort-A nose.
Edward Cullen- Anti Shine Foundation
Rhys Williams- Dog leash and collar to use on Gwen.
Toshiko Sato-a whip to use on Owen.
BeetleJuice-Moustoriser
Edward Scissor Hands- A House Elf
Rebacca Black- A new voice.

Harry potter is over!
torchwood, harkness, Ianto, gareth david lloyd
danaandersen

Nerds are crying, dorks are dying. Crazy cat lady is going insane. They’re all screaming “What do we do?” while they tumblr all their pain. Harry potter is over! So glad that shits over!

Those are just a few lyrics from Shane Dawson’s parody of Demi Lovato’s Sky scraper.

It has to be one of the best you tube songs spoofs out there! You really should go listen to it!

When will Harry fuck Hermione? When did Ron get so Fugly?

Personally, i loved love harry potter, always have always will! However, this song is hilarious. I guess it could be kind of offensive but you just have to look at the comedy side of it!

 

Totally and completely off the subject, but has anybody seen Hanibal, Silence of the lambs or Crow? I recently bought them on Vhs (yes, i still watch most of my films on video) and to be honest, im scared of watching them... So are they really like nightmare films or like scream, where it makes you jump alot?



Fat Ianto!
torchwood, harkness, Ianto, gareth david lloyd
danaandersen

He had tried everything. He had pulled, tugged, wriggled and even tried laying down on the bed, but there was no way it was going to happen. The little bronze coloured button refused to go in the hole. The whole time he had been struggling Jack had been watching, and it had made poor Ianto rather embarrassed.

“ Its your fault, y’know.” He growled, trying to fasten the stupid jeans one last time before giving up and peeling them off. Since he and Jack had started to be a real couple jack wouldn’t let him go out on the field, so that left Ianto sat in the hub with Tosh, drinking coffee and eating take aways, cake and any other goodies they could get their tubby little mitts on, well, his tubby little mitts on anyway. Tosh didn’t seem to gain a single ounce. Ianto was, by this time, standing in front of his full wall mirror poking his now rather large paunch.

“I don’t know, I quiet like the extra weight on you.” Jack declared strolling up behind him and resting a hand on his wobbly muffin top. He gently massaged Ianto’s stomach and Ianto blushed bright red.

“What’s up with the blush?” Jack questioned while innocently nuzzling into Ianto’s neck. Ianto swiftly pulled away and sat down on the edge of the bed, hiding his face in his hands. 

“ I’m fat.” Ianto growled, looking down at the two unattractive fat rolls he had gained while sitting down. Jack couldn’t hold it in, he started laughing.

“Ianto, you’re not fat, and quite honestly, I love the extra weight.” Jack said affectionately, sitting next to him and wrapping his arm over his admittedly fat waist. Jack had partly lied, Ianto was fat, but the bit when he said he liked it was very true. Ianto snorted before one again poking his wobbly tummy.

“ None of my clothes fit.” Ianto mumbled into jacks shoulder. Jack knew this fact as he had watched his trousers slowly get filled out by his arse and his shirts buttons slowly got more and more strained, showing more and more pale flesh in between.

“c’mon, looks like we are going S-H-O-P-I-N-G!” Jack exclaimed, jumping off the bed and throwing Ianto a white t-shirt and a pair of track suit bottoms.

“ First you made me fat, now you’re turning me into a chav...and you spelt shopping wrong.” Ianto smirked, pretty much back to his usually sarcastic yet loveable self. So they set off.

It was three hours later that they got to the hub, laden with shopping bags and Ianto wearing a new suit that actually fitted.



RANT!
torchwood, harkness, Ianto, gareth david lloyd
danaandersen

 THIS IS A RANT,YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO IGNORE IT IF YOU WANT!

So im sitting there, minding my own business eating my lunch (Egg mayo sandwich and a yoghurt) when my mum comes in, she immediately goes,

“You are too fat. You eat too much and your going on a diet. We’ll buy you that wii dance game.”

I mean, im not skinny, but for my mum to say that? I used to have NO confidence because of my weight and have only just got it back, plus she knows i have been on a diet for the last two weeks and lost 5 pounds! I cant believe my own mother would say this to me! She knows that i was so self hating i was almost bulimic, i was actually puking after every meal, and she found this out because she read my DIARY! She always says i can talk about anything to her, but i no longer have any trust in her! I don’t know what to do, i feel like curling up in a corner and crying for the rest of my fat, miserable life. I don’t know what to do.


Tags:

Dear RTD.
torchwood, harkness, Ianto, gareth david lloyd
danaandersen

Dear RTD,

                 When you MURDERED Owen and Tosh, i was upset and angry, but i thought “Hey, COE Might be better, he might learn from his mistakes!” Did you? NO! You MURDERED Ianto. I was pissed off and upset that time, don’t believe me? I left a letter for Ianto Owen and Tosh tied to the shrine on Cardiff bay, yeah; YOUR ‘mistake’ caused the fans to make a SHRINE! But because i loved the first two series so much, when i heard about miracle day i thought “He must have learned this time, it must be good this time.” Boy was i wrong! It is way to American-y, way to focused on Gwen and to be honest, its kind of boring (I cant believe i typed the word ‘boring’ about torchwood, see what youre bringing me to? Because i am a ‘loyal’ fan, i will finish watching it, although i am beginning to think the only reason i am watching it is because John Barrowman, Kai Owen and Eve Myles are in it (Yes, i like Eve Myles, i like Gwen Cooped too but everything is too focused on her, i understand it is mainly from her point of view, but you make every little thing about her! Want a example? Andy and Gwen are driving towards Ianto’s sisters house to tell her that her brother is(and whose fault is that?), and still, somehow it is all about her!) And for another thing, who the hell is the guy Jack shagged? That is so out of character for him, I just never could imagine him having a random one night shag, is he going to start wanting us to call him Vanessa? Now Russell, please don’t think i just hate on everything you do, I loved Torchwood for the fist series and a half, and i loved everything you did on doctor who, and please don’t get me started on Casanova, it is a true piece of genius, anyone who says it isn’t should be sexually violated by a pterodactyl.

                                 Yours sincerely,

                                                              Dana Andersen.

P.S Your initials look like “Retard”.



Torchwood Tree!
torchwood, harkness, Ianto, gareth david lloyd
danaandersen

So, i was on ehow.com for no real reason apart from the fact that i am currently VERY bored, and, as you do, i typed in the word 'torchwood'. The usual came up 'What is torchwood?' 'How to have a torchwood themed party!', all that kashiz when i came across something i find rather AWESOME!
 
 

Torchwood

  • The torchwood is a small citrus tree with purple fruit that never grows more than 15 feet tall. It puts out small white flowers in the spring. Both the flowers and the leaves of the torchwood tree are fragrant.

Dont you just want one? I do i do i do!!!!!!
 
 Dont believe its real? Go look! http://www.ehow.com/list_7329771_landscape-plants-miami.html 


Im going to try to post atleast once a day, but dont hurt me if i dont!!!!!!

 


Janto songfic
torchwood, harkness, Ianto, gareth david lloyd
danaandersen

The sun rays were casting their golden beams against his chiselled bronzed chest as Ianto leant into the warmth into his protective arms.

You sheltered me from harm
Kept me warm, kept me warm

He thought about all the times he had saved him. From monsters, from him self, from his ex girlfriend. With out jack, he mused, he would be long dead by now.

You gave my life to me
Set me free, set me free

They had been together for almost three years by this point and they still had a very strong relationship filled with love and passion.

The finest years I ever knew
Were all the years I had with you

After the hub had blown up Jack had moved in with Ianto. He had already given him his life and his heart, so by that time it was time to give him his home too. It had taken him weeks to come back after going with the doctor, but he had come back.

I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again

It had taken a long time for Ianto to learn to love, But Jack had led the way, never asking why it was so hard for him to fully commit himself.


You taught me how to love
What it's of, what it's of
You never said too much
But still you showed the way

 

At first Rhiannon had tried to convince him Jack was the wrong choice but after watching them even she had to agree they were perfect for each other. Ianto could never quite let go of Johnny’s first reaction though.

And I knew from watching you
Nobody else could ever know
The part of me that can't let go

He had already given him his life and his heart, so by that time it was time to give him his home too. It had taken him weeks to come back after going with the doctor, but he had come back.

.

 

I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again



They had been together for a month when Ianto told jack he felt like he was being used, taken for granted.

Is there someone you know
You're loving them so
But taking them all for granted?


Ianto had thought about leaving Jack, maybe to try and find some one like Lisa, but it was as he started to think this Jack got down on one knee and said “Ianto Jones, I love you. Marry me?”

You may lose them one day
Someone takes them away
And they don't hear
The words you long to say

“Yes. I have given you everything I own, my life, my heart my home. I gave everything just to have you back again.” Ianto replied, almost quoting one of his and Jacks favourite songs, their song.

I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again



Hiding from Gwen!
torchwood, harkness, Ianto, gareth david lloyd
danaandersen

It was a Tuesday afternoon when they all heard it. It would have been incredibly hard not to hear it considering it echoed around the whole hub. Even Janet heard it. She probably wished she could hide too.

“Jaaaacccckkkkkkk!” she whined loudly yet again. They all froze still, Ianto in the coffee room, Owen in the autopsy room, Tosh at her desk and Jack in his office.  

Ianto quickly climbed into the back of his huge coffee machine. This was where he always hid, and he hadn’t been found yet .He sighed contentedly as he snuggled down in his bed of coffee beans and closed his eyes to savour the luxurious smell. It wasn’t the most comfy place in the world but it smelt so good in there. He was happy with his hiding place and knew Gwen would never find him there.

Owen climbed into body freezer number 2 with the body of a dead weevil, mentally cursing him self for not getting into a empty one, the blood from the gaping wound in the weevils chest was smearing all over his expensive dolce and gabbana t-shirt . After the first minute he began to grip his freezing cold, numb balls in his equally freezing hand while trying desperately to remember how cold the freezer could possibly be, he guessed about twenty degrees under freezing . He was hoping and praying to a god he didn’t believe in that Gwen wouldn’t find him.

Tosh, being the genius she truly was simply pushed a button under her desk and the chair seat swung from under her letting her slide easily into a secret room with plenty of food, drink and entertainment. She contemplated having a game of Doctor Who top trumps on the wii but decided to see what was on the thousand odd channels on her tv, the water tower acted as a very good aerial.  She didn’t even think about the possibility of Gwen finding her, she was far to busy eating pop corn and watching House on her huge flat screen tv.

After discovering that the others were no where to be seen she headed up the rickety metal stairs to jacks office. His blinds were all closed and she paused for a moment in fear that maybe jacks jokes had come true and they were all in there having a giant sexy gang bang. She stopped thinking there, how could it be sexy with out her? She shook her head like the dog she was and took a deep breath.  She flung open the door and her eyes widened in shock, well, at least it wasn’t a gang bang. .

Jack was trying to force him self into the small draw in his desk, his feet were just about in. His eyes widened and a small, girlish scream escaped his mouth as he toppled down to the hard floor, his feet still stuck in the tiny draw.

“jack? What are you doing?”

“Shit.”

Ianto and Owen were startled awake when they heard Gwen scream. Tosh didn’t hear it in her secret room. Ianto popped his head out of the machine and Owen opened the door just enough to see out of. The scream? That wasn’t Gwen.



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